Carrasco Psychological Health Services

First, I encourage to look for those people you can confide in. The social support for people can be family or good friends. Isolating yourself will likely not be the best thing to do at this time. Your social support can help in starting to talk with others or at least providing some form of distraction. I am not saying you would need to immediately open up to everybody about how you are feeling. The idea is that having some social support is usually going to serve you better than having none at all.

One of the major points to remember about grief is that it a human experience. Everyone will at some point experience grief. The timing and the way people pass away may affect the grief process. However, this is out of our control. Practically all individuals will go through multiple bereavement episodes throughout their lives, through the deaths of parents, spouses, siblings and friends, and for some, their own children. Reactions to these losses can be intense, and came result in depressed mood, anxiety, sadness, lack of interest in re-engaging in the world or forming new relationships. Although grief can be an intense set of emotions, most individuals successfully cope with their loss and return to healthy levels of functioning. You are going through a difficult time in your life. There is no way to frame this into a positive after you have lost both of your parents. However, I hope to give you some hope that it is possible to get better. Yes, life can likely change after you have lost multiple family members. This does not mean that you cannot still live a meaningful life.

Although it would seem ideal to arrive at a place of acceptance emotional stability soon, it will likely take more time. Do not force yourself to arrive to this acceptance. If you allow yourself to experience these emotions and thoughts as they come, you will likely notice your emotional state improve. In therapy, the idea is to provide you with a space where you can discuss the loss of both your parents. You may also be able to do this on your own through other trusted relationships you develop. Later, you will get to the point of acceptance and learning how to adjust to life without them. The first step is to begin re-telling your story of the passing of your parents.

Ultimately, you are right in trying to stay productive. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as well. After losing both your parents it is going to be difficult to make a quick adjustment to back to normal. Be productive as you can but do not bring yourself down if you are not back to 100%. The social support you develop will likely help you in distracting yourself or reminding you to take care of yourself.

I want to provide you with some phases of the grief process. These will be an outline of things you can go through but does not mean you need to follow this as a step by step process. The most important thing for you is to allow yourself to talk about your loss and view these emotions as just a part of the grief process you are going through.

“Four Tasks of Mourning” to heal:

1. To accept the reality of the loss (Accept the loss both intellectually and emotionally. Recognize the significance of the loss)

2. To work through the pain of grief (Name and make sense of your emotions. Let yourself feel these emotions, rather than trying to bury them)

3. To adjust to life without the deceased

4. To maintain a connection to the deceased while moving on with life